I haven't blogged in awhile because I have had a lot to try to deal with. I went to check out a new apartment today because, "I pointed out a problem with the security of the maintenance." I have been here in my new place almost a week and a half, and the best thing to do is get out. A couple of Turkish men took it into their heads to treat me as a Turkish woman from the moment I moved in--and let's just say it was bad. Charges have been filed and one of the men was suspended from his job and required to turn in his keys pending the results of the investigation. I ran across him again at the on site laundry facility on Thursday.

The good news is that the new place--still sight unseen--is a one bedroom, one bath for about the same price I am paying for a studio. The manager is very accepting and used to manage the apartments where I am staying now. I let her know that I preferred to be called Sophie. The apartment's also closer to work, about halfway to the cramped studio I was living in.

Afterwards, I picked up some soup and an ice scraper, because I hear a freeze is on the way in the morning. I also need to drop off the application at the apartment after work, but I'm thinking of doing it after meditation studies at the church. Those really help. What also really helps is that I am out to so many women and a few men that I can talk to about what happened and the resulting conflicting emotions.

The news about Mike Penner is shocking, but not too surprising. I read that as Christine, she was suffering a terrible divorce, and for whatever reason she made the decision to de-transition, I can understand how that kind of guilt can lead someone to back out. I have seen several people and heard how other people have made promises to try to go back to being in the closet, or putting away the other side for good, and while it may work for some, for others the price turns out to have been too much, the relationship winds up severed and transition is recommenced. It's hard to speculate what happened to Mike Penner to cause his death, but since his death happened so close to the Transgender Day of Remebrance, the day when we honor those brothers and sisters who lost their lives for having the courage to be who they are, it's easy for me to see a scenario in which he felt his regret at going back to male life and maybe falsely feeling he was a let down to so many, including his familial relations.

Whatever reason this brave individual left us, his and her life was a spectrum, part he and part she. I am sure both he and she will be missed greatly. Indeed their courage is a shining example.

Hugs and God Bless,
Sophie